Gone Fishing

I knew the snake was hungry before we left for the weekend. I did not, however, realize that the snake was starving. As we loaded up late on Friday night to depart for our three-day retreat to the high country, I made sure the animals left behind were fed and watered. Of course, Lily, our pampered pooch always goes with us. Audra's bird was fine, the cats were good and the two snakes could wait to eat until we returned. Snakes, as a rule, do not eat like most other animals. Some people recommend feeding them once a week. Others say you can feed them a little more quantity, a little less often. The latter, is what I prefer.

Although the two snakes that we own are not technically mine, I am the one who feeds them. Buck waters them and handles them the most, but I toss the little mice in when the snakes are ready to eat. Buck's biggest snake, a beautiful CA king snake, is probably the width of your big toe and approximately two feel long. He eats fuzzies. Fuzzies are mice that are not quite fully grown. They have hair, but not as much as a full grown mouse. Buck's smaller snake, a corn snake, eats pinkies. Pinkies are the newborn mice, sans hair. Hence the name - they are quite pink. Growing up, my brother's snake always ate live mice. Now, most people thaw and heat frozen mice.

At first, I wasn't a fan of the frozen mice. But, I have come to appreciate some of the conveniences. 1) We can keep a container of frozen mice for future feedings instead of having to go to the store each time the snake needs to eat. 2) The mice are already deceased, uhum..dead, so there is no squealing and running for their little lives while the snake attacks. This can be quite traumatic to witness, even when fully embracing the circle-of-life theory, which is how my dad explained it to me. In more modern times, frozen feeders have become commonplace for snake owners and heating them up in warm water is really all that it takes to prepare them for the snake. Snakes have horrible vision and they really sense their food by the heat it gives off, as well as movement sometimes. When a snake is really hungry, it can strike at just about anything. 

I made a mental note as we left on Friday that I needed to feed the snakes this week. We had a lovely weekend up north and totally enjoyed the cool mountain air, the tall, whistling pines and the absence of time. I asked Wade, at one point, what time it was. "I don't know and I don't care," came his response. He was absolutely right. We were, quite literally, taking the weekend off. We returned home last night, refreshed and renewed, ready to face our six man schedule head-on. 

The alarm rang this morning in typical pre-dawn fashion and I was again, a slave to the clock. Wade made the coffee as I went from room to room waking the kids. The girls needed to be to school earlier than normal, so we got them going first. It's never pretty when we wake the oldest, but I know that she never means some of the things she says at 5 AM - we are a family who apologizes and forgives. The antonym of Audra is Buck, who wakes like an angel every day. I kid you not, he is absolutely a gem every morning and greets me with a smile, a big hug and a, "How was your night's sleep mom?" Just minutes after waking him and grabbing my coffee, Buck ran into the kitchen. His face was the color of notebook paper and he had tears in his eyes. "My snake, King Freckles, is gone. I've searched his tank and he's gone." 

I was sure the snake was in there someplace and reassured Buck as I went back to dive into the tank. Sure enough, the snake was gone. Feeling bad for not feeding the little guy last week when I first noticed he was hungry, I told Buck that I would spend the day searching. We would find him. I just hoped, silently, that we would find him before the dog and the cats did. That, I'm afraid, would not be good.

Buck managed to get moving and ready for school while I packed lunches and signed log books. Because I was not yet dressed, my sweet husband offered to make the two school runs so I could focus on finding the snake. Just as the boys were leaving, I spotted him behind the washer and dryer.  That was great news, as finding him is much more than half the battle. Wade ran out the door to deliver the kids to school as I tried to lure the snake out. This, as you might imagine, is not so easily done.

Still in my best satin nightgown, I crawled around on the laundry room floor trying to get our little friend to come out. I had two piles of neatly sorted laundry next to the large floor rug. I laid down flat on the rug and looked under the dryer. He stuck his forked tongue out as if to say, if you're not going to feed me before you go, then I'll just take care of it myself. Wade came back and made some wisecrack about me laying on the laundry room floor next to the cat litter box and immediately suggested getting a mouse. We condensed the two piles of laundry and put the rug on top to make room to set our trap. We put the warm, dead mouse about 8 inches from the front of the dryer and I got ready to pounce. The snake shot out faster than a flash, grabbed the mouse and backed up under the dryer before we could blink. "Oh, great. Now he's eaten and he'll never come out." I moaned. Wade suggested I get another mouse as he went over to his office to work.

This time, being the genius that I think I am, I decided to tie something to the mouse so that I could pull it as the snake came out. Searching for string, which we never have, I found lime green curling ribbon which I figured would do. I warmed up the mouse and tied the ribbon around its middle. The snake was interested and definitely still hungry. I decided to fish with the mouse and stood back on the pile of laundry, casting the fuzzy little rodent bait just under the front edge of the dryer. On about the third attempt, the snake struck. With the lightning-fast reflexes of a middle aged woman, I yanked the ribbon hard, as if setting a hook, and half a mouse flung back and struck me in the stomach. It ended in a tie. Half a mouse to the snake and half back to me, literally. I washed up, grateful it did not hit me in the face and I called Wade to come back over to help. 

He took one look at me in the the laundry room (which by now was turned upside down) and just burst out laughing. I was not nearly as amused. "You are quite a woman," he laughed. "How many mothers do you know who would spend their morning like this?"  

"Never mind," I said. "We've got to put an end to this before I go crazy in here. If I leave and get ready for the day, he might get out and slither away to another room.  Just lift up the front of the dryer and let me see where he is." Both machines were full of laundry and under cabinets, which made them difficult to move. We also did not want to crush the snake, so we had very few options. Before Wade lifted the front of the dryer, he said, "There's a big bill under there. It's a 10 dollar bill. Grab it."

So, as he lifted, I stuck my hand under far enough to grab the money. I grabbed the money just as he grabbed me. I screamed, a little from pain but more from the unexpected scare, and swiftly retracted my right hand as Mr. Freckles remained fully clamped down on the first digit of my index finger. Wade yelled something about grabbing the snake as I shook him off into Wade's cowboy hat. Not at all a snake fan, Wade dumped Mr. Freckles quickly back into his tank and the job was done.

As I washed the throbbing tip of my finger, peppered with tiny teeth marks, I was grateful. I made $10 today.