Change

I write about change today because our family is courageously embracing some serious change this week. I'm not sure anyone really loves change, but our family realizes that the change we are making this week offers us a terrific opportunity.

One of the many life lessons that my dad taught, was the lesson of getting out of our comfort zones. It was his philosophy that in order to grow, we needed to take risks and make changes that took us farther than what was comfortable to us. It makes sense - to stretch something means to enlarge it, to make it bigger. Most of us like to be comfortable and most of us like our familiar routines. Think about it. None of us run, with open arms, to change something that we are comfortable with, something that is easy. We set out on new adventures with knots in our stomach, pains in our heads, aches in our hearts and tears in our eyes. But, how often do we come back and say, wow, that was amazing. Our daughter, Sierra, has this line that resonates deeply with her. "I don't mind change, I just don't want to be there when it happens." That is how most of us, me included, naturally respond to anything that might rock our little boat of comfort and security, however rickety the boat.

The change our family is embracing is about to rock the foundation of our home. In a good way. Let me back up....When our kids were born and my husband and I became parents, we each entered into parenthood with little more than the tools and experiences that we brought with us from our lives. Trying to educate myself on parenthood, I poured over books and asked other parents whom I admired, questions about raising their kids. This is an ongoing process in which my husband and I continue to search out better ways to parent and better ways to raise our kids.  

Not long after becoming parents, our oldest wanted to go to preschool. She was potty trained at two and we began our search. After months of looking, talking to people, visiting preschools and educating ourselves on the best environment we could find for our daughter, we enrolled her in a private Montessori preschool at the age of 3. Talk about leaving your comfort zone. Dropping my baby off at preschool nearly ripped my heart out. I remember that first day like it was yesterday. I was brave as I left her. She looked back at me, holding the hand of her teacher, as if to say why are you leaving me here? I waved to her with a big smile on my face and I cried all the way home, but leaving my comfort zone and expanding hers was a gift that truly enriched our lives. Some of our dearest friends came from that little Montessori school where three of our four kids attended for many years and we still keep in touch with Audra's very first teacher, the one who held my baby's hand when she and I stepped out of our comfort zones so long ago.

After the Montessori years, we searched for an elementary school for the kids to attend. The local public school, in our former neighborhood, came with many concerns. As I began the research into the school, I spoke to neighbors and friends who had kids there and 9 out of 10 responses were negative. Another friend of mine, who was not yet a parent, had substituted there as a long-term sub and his advice, don't go. We weren't in a financial position to go back to private school, so my husband encouraged me to look into charter schools. I began the search quickly and visited many of the local charter schools, speaking with people who had kids there, sitting in on classrooms and just observing. In the end, I found two that I felt would meet our requirements. I got on the waiting lists of both and waited. We ended up enrolling in the charter school that could take both our first grader and our kindergartner. Another step out of our comfort zone. 

It's been 8 years that we've had kids enrolled at the K-6 charter school and we've absolutely loved the experience. It's not perfect and we've had our fair share of meetings with the principal about concerns, but as school experiences go, it's been terrific. The school is smaller than a public school, but larger than the private Montessori school environment that our kids came from - a private school feel without the cost. 

As Audra entered 6th grade, we had all four of our kids attending the charter school together.  We knew that we needed to find a different school for Audra to attend in 7th grade since the charter school offered no Junior High program. This is where my husband and I did not research our options and we did not necessarily agree on the direction we should go.  His immediate response was that we should enroll her in a private school or a different charter school. He had not enjoyed his experiences in his public schools growing up and wanted to go a different route with Audra. I pushed instead for the local public school, remembering fondly my years in the public school system across town. I'm not sure why we did not do any reasearch at that point, but we didn't. My husband deferred to me and we transitioned into the public school closest to our home. Audra went as a 7th grader and Sierra wanted to go as well, into the 5th grade. 

Our girls are amazing, bright, sweet, grounded, level-headed, well-liked and adaptable. They made the transition easily and each found things they enjoyed about their new school. I jumped in with a giant grin on my face, eager to watch them flourish through middle school and high school. Coming from a private school and a charter school, we came with a perspective that others didn't share. Even my dearest friends at the school do not share my perspective and we know wonderful families who've grown up there from kindergarten through 8th grade. I don't have anything negative to say about this school and I will always have a fondness for many of the wonderful people we met because of our time there. What I can say is that looking at the big picture for our kids, I knew that we needed to evaluate all of our options. 

As we've taken several months to evaluate our educational options for Jr. High and High School, we've had many people share experiences with us, pray for us and encourage us in our quest for the best environment and the best opportunity for our kids. It's been an interesting experience and I've seen God working in every phase of our journey. We so appreciate the positive comments and the understanding from people who know how very important this decision has been for us.  It would have been a lot easier to stay where we were and remain in the neighborhood school where our kids were doing fine. Our kids are wonderful and they will do fine wherever we place them, but we want our kids to thrive in an environment that is structured to bring out the very best in each of them. We realize that making this change involves risk. It involves faith and it involves a huge departure from our comfort zones. 

Tomorrow, our 8th grader and our 6th grader will drive past their neighborhood school, their familiar playground and their dear friends, on their way to their first day of classes at their new private, Christian school. It's a school with a small town feel, where standards are high, expectations are higher and opportunities abound. It's not a perfect school, I'm sure those don't exist, but it's a school we feel called to move our daughters to for so many more reasons than I can list. For sure, our daughters have been absolutely amazing throughout this journey. I'm so proud of them and proud of their amazing friends who did so very much to make their time together in school so special. It's time now to stretch, to step out of our comfort zone - with knots in our stomachs and tears in our eyes - so we might grow.