Chaos...

As I've worked my way through the day, hoping for a chance to sit and write, I've been stuck putting out fires that the little people have been lighting. Tackling the very end of vacation unpacking, the kids have been buzzing around me, each needing something different at two minute intervals throughout the morning.  Our youngest tried to carry in a football tackle dummy, which is at least three times his size, while our older son was simultaneously being bitten by his snake.  All of this while the girls were practicing for some musical performance they hope to present to us in the future. There was screaming from the little one pinned under the football dummy, crying from the snake bite victim while piano music and opera singing rang through the house. I tried clicking my heels together, but I didn't go anywhere. My husband walked in, took one look around and offered to take me with him to a meeting.  Even though I was still in my pajamas, I seriously considered running out and jumping in the car. It's not always this way at our house, but today is just one of those days!

It started last night, really. After a late night at the softball field, the girls and I came home ready for a shower and some good sleep. Our daughter, Sierra, decided that she didn't feel well and tried to convince me to let her sleep in my bed. After spending four nights next to her on vacation, I quickly said, "No!" Sierra is not a friendly sleeper and she can be absolutely vicious to those next to her. But, somehow in the middle of last night, she weaseled into my room and lodged herself in the middle of the bed. After receiving an elbow to the eye and a blow to the liver, I tried to push her over to her dad's side of the bed. She did not move, nor did she wake up. We had several altercations which looked like a mixed martial arts routine with kicks, chops and wild punches being thrown. In an attempt to avoid her attacks, I retreated to the hair-like sliver of mattress on the very edge of the bed. She quickly found me and worked me over with one final assault.  I grabbed my pillow and headed for the couch. The couch would have been a fine choice if not for the Lego's that were left there the night before. 

I woke with the sun and it wasn't long before the kids joined me. I was sore from the overnight beating and exhausted from the broken sleep the couch provided. Our youngest emerged first with a big smile and tennis rackets. He said he was ready to play me as I had promised him a game yesterday. I don't remember it this way but suggested he warm up first and sent him outside in his underwear to practice. His idea of tennis is really more like volleyball with rackets. He tells us that if it hits the ground we are out.  I explain the one bounce rule of tennis, which he immediately dismisses. While Colton kept busy with his version of tennis, Sierra and Buckley played Wii Olympics and Audra tried to sleep in. She quickly woke up when she heard me yell at the cat for stealing the mango seed she is attempting to grow. (If you've never sprouted a mango seed, it's worth watching.) Audra is our resident scientist and she typically has several window sills filled with something that is sprouting in wet paper towels and water. I don't own a live plant, so she did not get this gene from me.

After giving up on the tennis game, Colton came in to measure things with his new tape measure. We have a friend in South Carolina who recently sent us a box of goodies. (Thank you, Crystal!) Inside the box, among other things, were a handful of plastic tape measures - perfect for the kids. Our kids are all about timing and measuring. Sierra always has her watch on and uses the stop watch feature to time almost everything. When sweet Grandma Della was here visiting, Sierra frequently timed how long it took her to use the bathroom. Poor Grandma Della learned to distract her first and sneak in before the timer began. We threatened to take her watch away for privacy violations and she has since backed off with the stop watch.

Today, in the middle of folding laundry, Colton asked for help measuring the couch. The tape was a little short, so I suggested using his math skills and adding the two numbers. He preferred to just measure short. All of this while my husband's friend stopped in and sat at my computer to help me with something else. While he was sitting there working, Buckley popped out and measured his head circumference. That right there is a true sign of friendship. When you can sit and not blink and eye while a tape measure is being wrapped around your forehead by a 9-year-old boy, you are a friend.

Finally, I managed to lure all four of them outside with Otter Pops and a dip in the pool. The house is quiet and I can think. I'm tempted to lock the door and take a nap. But my conscience stops me. I feel badly for the neighbors who are now the innocent victims of my kids' chaos.