The Agony of Defeat...

It's Saturday, Little League All-Star weekend for our daughter's Jr. softball team and I am the Manager. Truly, it's our team - it belongs to every girl, every coach and every family member who's part of it. We had our first District All-Star game last night. It did not go as planned. Although I try to keep my blogs light, humorous and upbeat, there's little I can say about the game that falls into any of these categories.

Our team worked extremely hard preparing for this tournament. The girls, 13-15 years old, practiced three and four times a week over the past several weeks in post 100 degree heat. We knew the team we were facing. We knew they were scrappy, gritty and had some good pitching. We also knew that we've beaten them more times than they've beaten us and we felt prepared to go to battle.

Unfortunately, our girls and our coaching staff faced insurmountable and unexpected odds when we first walked onto the field last night. You see, we came prepared to play our nine girls against their nine girls. That's the way softball is supposed to be played. What we did not prepare for were the incredibly under-qualified and downright unfair umpires who clearly decided, as the game began, that they were going to add themselves to the other team's roster. Our real opponents, although we were not supposed to be playing them, were the two Little League umpires who decided that every call throughout the game would automatically go to the other team. If their pitcher couldn't hit the strike zone, the umpire behind the plate helped her out. If there was a play at a base, the tie always went to the other team.  Plays on the field that were clearly in our favor, were reversed. Sometimes, with such a delay that runs scored for the other team while they took extra time to make the call, which always went to the other team. They called at least three incorrect rule book violations on our team. I'm hard-pressed to remember a game where an umpire felt it necessary to call even one infraction. And, if an umpire wants to start calling violations, it should be mandatory that the umpire actually knows the rules.

We were the home team and took the field first. Our pitcher, the sweet daughter of our terrific head coach, came out in the first inning ready to throw. As she began pitching, the plate umpire threw up his hands and said she was illegal because she had a "batting glove" under her fielding glove. Our head coach, who knows the rule book inside and out, went out and explained the rule to him. The glove was black, NOT white, which is what the rule states. Spinning his authority in another direction, the umpire then said that she can only use it for fielding and she's "not a fielder". Does he think that she is just going to pitch the ball and not field it should the ball be hit back?  Does "fielding" exclude pitchers? I had never heard such nonsense. Being respectful, she removed the glove and our coach found the rule in the rule book. He went out to recite the rule, which was looked up by the president of the league, and the call went in our favor. There's no such rule. Our pitcher put the glove back on as the disgruntled umpire, who's ego clearly reigned, stood over her. Before she could begin again, he "decided" that it went too far up her wrist and he now declared it a "wrist band." He told her again that she could not wear it.  This is a piece of her equipment that she has worn all of her playing career. I have never, in 30 years of softball, ever seen such a horrible call to start the game. The umpire had his own agenda and it was not to officiate the game. 

Unfortunately, this was only the tip of the ice berg for us. As another bad call was being made, our head coach walked out to respectfully ask for clarification and was given a "warning".  A warning for what?  Our fans were as upset about the horrible officiating up to this point, yet they remained classy in their disgust and quiet.  Still, the umpire stormed over and told me to, "control my parents."  I looked at them and I could have been looking in a mirror.  Their faces were the same as mine, shocked. I said nothing to our parents and quickly realized that there was more going on than a softball game.  Our parents were reacting as I was, with utter shock, exasperation and amazement at the antics of the two men who were supposed to be out there for the kids. No one was yelling, there was no cursing, no one spoke to the other team, but the umpire still treated us as though we were the devil. I sensed a political twist to a game that is supposed to be about 18 girls playing softball. Instead, we became the unwitting victims of ego driven umpires who acted like softball gods. Honestly, in all my life, I have never seen or been a part of such a troubling display of power. 

We tied the game up in the fifth inning, but the final score did not favor us. Our team was dejected, defeated and there was a look of confusion on many of the faces. I'm not sure that anyone present had ever experienced such a game. I was proud of our girls, proud of our head coach and proud of the parents. In the face of unfair, political, shameful officiating, our team had class and showed respect to umpires who did not return the favor.  

Although I've had some trouble shaking off the loss, I have had time to reflect, to think about the situation. There's nothing anyone can do when those who "control" situations don't play by the rules. There are a lot of life lessons to be learned in disappointing situations. I've always believed that God shapes us most when we go through fire. It's not our comfort that He cares about, it's our character, which He molds as we struggle, suffer and fall short. As I reconcile all of this, my humanness is still wounded from the loss - my competitive nature always seeks to win.

As I was driving home late last night, our son, Buck, sat quietly in the front seat with me.  I could tell that he didn't know what to say. As we sat waiting for the light to change, he said, "Mom, I learn things from you when I watch you coach your team."

"You do? What is it that you learn when you watch?"  I asked.  

"I learn about God and about what He wants us to be like as Christians." He quietly said.

Wow.  The hearts of my children are far deeper and wiser than I often recognize.  In the face of painful defeat, my young son saw something far more important. When we got home, after midnight, he said he had a surprise for me. He got out his accordion and played the most beautiful songs, to, in his words, "Cheer me up and make me not so sad about the game." It worked.

And today, we jumped in the pool as a family, trying to forget that our big All-Star weekend did not begin as planned. We threw war balls at each other, had cannon ball contests and just hung out together.  

The coaches and I will regroup for the Monday game and we'll pray that we get two different umpires who might see life through the eyes of a child.