Change

The blog has fallen victim to my unbelievably insane schedule and there's no one to blame for this craziness except me. How does the saying go? Admitting that there IS a problem is the first step. Right? So, coming on the heels of this enlightened, somewhat courageous admission, I'm convicted. 

I have always believed that God blesses each of us with unique gifts and abilities, feeling that He blessed me with the gift of encouragement and a servant's heart. Whether it's the years I spent teaching Sunday school or my long history in competitive fast-pitch softball, I've always enjoyed giving my time and sharing my minimal talents with others.  

Just recently, while running through the grocery store, I had a young girl come over and wrap her arms around me to say hello. Gone was the quiet, little eight year old girl whom I had coached many years ago and standing before me was a bright-eyed teenager, who was now taller than me. We exchanged small talk and a few laughs before she turned with her mom to go. As she did, they thanked me for all the fun she had when we played together and how much she missed our team. She's since given up softball and is a cheerleader now, a beautiful young lady who first came into my life just after she lost her father to cancer.  I'll never forget our first practice together all those years ago. Her big brown eyes were truly the window to her sad and lonely soul. My only goal for her at the time was to help her find some joy again, to smile. Softball was second. By the end of that first season, her eyes began to sparkle and her confidence grew. We spent several seasons together before my own girls changed leagues.  Standing with her in the grocery store, it felt good to know that I had a small, positive impact in her precious life.  

Lately, I've been feeling a little down about not having enough time to work with my own kids. Watching our daughters play their softball game this morning, it hit me. They need more time. Having coached so many other girls over the years and having assisted the high school softball team at school this past season, I've not given my own girls enough technical help - especially recently. They are both good athletes and love to compete, but they're rusty and for good reason. This past school ball season, I routinely spent 10 - 15 hours a week working to help the high school girls with their softball fundamentals, getting home each night with just enough energy to throw dinner together for our family before collapsing into bed after the kids' homework, baseball games, basketball games, showers and bedtime prayers.  

Moving forward, I'm praying about where and how God wants me to serve. As I've stood back over the past few weeks and observed my role in different situations, it's clear that I'm easily replaceable as a coach. My kids don't think so and I'm grateful for their support, but I know they could all use a little change and a lot more mom time.