More Than I Deserved

How often we think about what is gone when what we'd been given was far more than we deserved. 

Like the small sapling that grows in the shadow of the tallest tree, blissfully I frolicked through life like a child until one day, the shadow was gone and the sun hit me, unexpectedly, full in the face. It should have been hot, the sun shining full on my face, but it was cold and dark. Unexpectedly.

God's grace and His promises bring warmth as His word burns a fire in my heart, reminding me that the storms will come to each of us, unexpectedly, but they will pass. And as He makes painful the way for the sun to shine down to encourage my growth, I trust that it is His will. I trust that it is good.

I woke today, pushing the memories to the back of my mind. Flashes of pain, still vivid and hard to admit, crept up to catch me off guard. Sweet hugs from the kids and not long after waking, the doorbell.

Flowers, from Wade, my beloved. More hugs from the kids, no words are spoken, they know the day. I smiled and cried at the same time.  I read his note...

Sheila, Even on a sad day like today, you shine. Your dad would be proud of how you have grown in the past four years, living out of your comfort zone. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Love always, Wade

I am comforted, I do still silently mourn on days like today and my heart still physically feels the void. But, as the sun forces me to grow out of my comfort zone, I am blessed and it is good. My loss turns to bounty. 41 years of life with my precious dad was so much more than I deserved and I am grateful.

He was right. Life is good.